Marriage, a sanctioned union of persons who commit to one another, forming a bond for a lifetime! The very sound of it scares me, what about you?
We live in a society where, marriage is a boon and divorce a curse; yet, we do not have enough freedom to select a ‘boon’ of our choice. How fair is that! Indian society has a very different meaning to marriage. We not only marry a guy to a girl but a family to other. The seven rounds, a pinch of red sindoor and a black-gold thread ties two families into a relation, which eventually becomes more significant than our blood links. But all this requires two people to sacrifice their lives (Yes, sacrifice), for someone they barely know. I’m not anti-arrange marriage; I just don’t support how it is carried out.
Arrange marriages, a system where we first exchange biodata’s and pictures followed by girl’s family meeting the guy, guy’s family meeting the girl before the guy and the girl get to meet, for a very short period of time. How is one supposed to judge a person by an hour-long exchange of glances, thoughts and blushes? It’s a decision for a lifetime; I wouldn’t even want to go on a date without knowing a bit about the person. Most of the married couples are generally happy, and it’s because they love each other, but that doesn’t change the fact they were never in love with each other. If the meeting ritual actually manages to reach the last stage, there’s very little scope to ‘reject’ the person. Of course it hurts them and supposedly your family image is tarnished. Wow! So, if I meet a guy someday because my parents, family and extended family think he’s worth marrying, I get two situations. Either I like him or I don’t. If I like him I’d probably say yes and things proceed but if I don’t I again have two options. Either I compromise like a typical Indian woman and say yes or I say no. The former could prove to be a disaster while latter WILL be a disaster. “Oh, she rejected him? Today’s generation I tell you!” And that probably will make it impossible for me to get a guy of my dreams. Bloody ‘log kya kahenge’ has spoilt more lives than recession in our country!!
Peculiarly, most of these arrange matrimonies do succeed after all. Thanks to the ‘compromising and sacrificing’ genes every Indian has inherited. And there are a lot of them, which do not succeed and end up in divorce – another disgrace in our society. I don’t understand, what is wrong with one getting out of a relationship, which doesn’t work, and starting life again? We all deserve second chances, don’t we? If you’re a divorcee, you will hardly find a woman who hasn’t been married before until she has some major disability, which an able man isn’t ready to accept. Yeah, being divorced equals being disabled in India. Such a shame. And yeah, if you’ve a child, you’re likely to not be married that easily after all.
Marrying someone too young is not acceptable, marrying an older woman is a sin, marrying somebody outside caste is a crime, let’s not even get to religion. Sometimes, I’m forced to wonder, “Why even bother marrying?”
Another concern I’ll never understand is what has age to do with marriage? I’m just 21 and my father is already waiting for me to finish studying so that he can deport me to ‘my sasural’ because, supposedly this is my parent’s house and not mine. WHAT LOGIC!
I’m not against arrange marriages but I strongly feel everybody deserves a better chance to know the person they will be spending their entire life with. I love Indian traditions but when these very customs and rituals start eating up one’s life, they should be let gone off. That’s what I feel. God Bless us all!
Love always.
joeykakz 